Gracie Goes Bananas

photo 4“I have a picture, pinned to my wall, an image of you and of me, and we’re laughing, lovin it all…”
Okay, so it’s not a real picture, it’s more of a positive mental image I have of us all laughing together. I am working towards this goal, using the power of positive thinking. Sometimes that positive thinking photo 5distracts from all the actual work I am supposed to do. Though I am not sorry I didn’t blog today (cuz I got a lot done), I did feel guilty. And when I started listening to my 80’s slow dance mix, I was reminded that “Somewhere, out there, beneath the pale moonlight, someone’s thinking of me, and loving me tonight..” and I thought it might be you. So, for all you little dreamers, I wanted to give you some sneak peaks into what’s driving me bananas;)




Strategic Investment For Burly Girls

Okay, with one act under my belt, I am now making the move to create, choreograph and generally concoct my 2nd “professional burlesque act”. I put it in quotations, cuz can I really consider myself a professional if I am only working in the industry once a month. I mean, I am working on my industry stuff all month long, but I am not being paid for all those hours of sparkling, sewing and sweating and isn’t that what professional means? Getting paid. So, the big question becomes: Can a burly girl start seeing green without making an investment in themselves?

The short answer is No. Everyone knows they get what they pay for. Investment can mean a variety of things. But nobody gets what they want to be without putting -something- into the bank. Whether it’s a karmic bank, a piggy bank or a burlesque bank. Now, I don’t know a whole lot about variable interest rates, dividends and the like, but even I know that a 25% interest on nothing, is still nothing.  intention, amount and effort are all taken into consideration when banking in their respective markets.

As a burly-girl, I must invest in my body, in my acts, in my branding, in my industry, in my art. So I do squats and try to eat right. “Right” being a loose interpretation of the food pyramid I learned in grade school, with a Gracie twist…meaning I can cheat if I really want to or I’m sad or it’s a special occasion. I must invest in my acts. I spend hours glitterizing and going through each of my planned the motions. Then there’s the time spent hunched over a sewing machine. Oh, and let’s not forget the time I spend designing business cards and composing blog entries. Then, I attend shows and donate what I can when I can. So, even though I may not be seeing a return on my investment, thus far, it’s a diversified portfolio. One that I hope grows into a comprehensive retirement from boring ole’ Joe jobs into a “Professional” compensation package filling my Showgirl bank account with all the perks of a strategic investor. Now, that’s what I call a great investment.

Make Lemmon-ade

Like a lot of showgirls, I had/have/will always have a borderline obsession with Marilyn Monroe. The curvaceous lady-crooner with a panache for all things attractive. Her ethereal glow and signature platinum locks with lips as red, as the red-red rose leaping off the big screen, directly into your heart. She beams, she titillates, she’s one of a kind; but I found myself wanting so very badly to embody all things Marilyn…minus of course, all the pain, heartache, loneliness etc.  As I sit absorbing her movies, no, films, I’ve tried to embody all things Monroe… And all the while I was a Lemmon.

Now, some of you not so obsessive vintage video buffs may not get the joke, so I’ll lay it out for you. There was a little movie called Some Like It Hot, in which a girl-crazy saxophone player Tony Curtis and silly bull fiddle strumming side-kick Jack Lemmon seek refuge from the Chicago mob during prohibition.  Now, their only ticket out-of-town is with an all female band. So, in classic hijinks fashion the womanizer becomes the woman, and so does Jack. Not attractive women by any stretch, but womanly enough to get them into the band, onto the train and out of Chicago. Enter Marilyn, who plays “Sugar”, the bubble-headed blonde with the hourglass that takes all day. Then, just sit back and enjoy.

So, imagine teeny Gracie, daydreaming about growing up to be a scintillating Marilyn, oh what I dream-come true that would be…Fast forward a couple bunches of years and I find myself building this showgirl life. And of course there are brief moments of Marilyn, flashes. But my main squeeze is Jack Lemmon. And the greatest part about burlesque is that I get to be myself.  So, even though it’s not who I wished so very hard to be, it’s almost better. I am the comedy relief, the clown, the mule, the nag, a Lemmon, through and through. You know what they say, when life hands you Lemmon, make a joke about it . And if there was one thing ole’ Jacky boy knows about its jokes. Best of all, I am looking forward to being a Grumpy Old Man…oh, you know what I mean.

On Your Mark, Get Set, GRACIE!

Ladies & Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I introduce the Sweetie Pie to the Face, the Beautiful Disaster, Queen Humblebee: Ms. Gracie Klutz.

Since I am performing tonight, I thought I might take you behind the curtain. Or maybe even inside the showgirl bag. So, without further adieu, I present for your reading pleasure: The Showgirl Checklist

Things Packed for Everyshow

1. A Billion Bobby Pins

2. One Hundred Safety Pins

3.  Glimmering Body Shellac

4. Boob glue/Tit tape

5. Oodles and oodles of fancy dancy Showgirl paint- AKA Lipstick and blush

Things Packed for “The BooBoo Act”

1.  Pink Knee-highs with Pink Satin Bows

2. A Pretty Little Blue Dress

3. One Stretchy Pink Belt with gold latch

4. Pink Panties & Brazier bedecked with blue Flower

5. And 6 Itsy Bitsy Secrets- which are of course, the hardest to pack

Things I Never Leave Home Without

1 thru 100. A Smile

As I work my way down my checklist, packing sparkly bits and joke bobs into my showgirl bag, each piece reminds me: I am a Showgirl. Finally.

And you should come watch me tonight- if for no other reason than to learn my 6 itsy bitsy secrets:)

Click for Tickets!

A Gracie For All Seasons

I want sunshine lollipops and rainbows everywhere! I stretch out in the warm nights and soak in patio weather. But I’ve noticed the busy bumbling bees have already lost their summer minds- transforming them into droning kamikaze nuisances; dive bombing my shady afternoon. You might say, I’m havin a hard time letting go of this summer lovin state of mind. Even today I find myself answering the siren call of the sunshine. I am drawn away from my computer and out into the big wide world. Cuz before you know it, it’ll be fall and before I know it, I will need to be wrapped up and winterized.

On this day of near-autum, I am taking stock of my life. Happy Hubby in year 2 of marriage. Healthy puppa & kitty. And then there’s Gracie. This summer is one for the herstory- no, my-story books. I have fallen into the world of burlesque. A community that has embraced, caressed and teased me on a regular basis. I am a happy camper. I mean, I’ve been a ship without a captain, floating aimlessly in the creative world. Now, finally, I have control over me. And I’m told that if I burlesque it, they will come. Though the rest of this year is going to be a gauntlet of picking, planning and pawning my acts, it’s the most fun part. I mean, just trying to choose from the overflowing concept fountain that is my under-stimulated, overly-warped mind (which- I hear are ideal qualities to have as a maker of art) has been a production. With oh so many crew members involved. I have become obsessed. It’s my sparkly addiction. And I can’t help myself.

They say time flies when you’re having fun. But I’m not sure that times goes faster as much as you’re not interested in looking at a clock. Unless, of course, like me, you’ve stacked your schedule to consume every nanosecond. When I stopped to look at the calendar I realized that the days are literally numbered. It’s already September. And I don’t know if you’ve realized, but there are some major holidays coming up. Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s and oh so many more and they all require an act. Sigh- showgirl problems. It is my hope that  take advantage of the inevitable shortening of days in the fall and utilize the long, dark hours of winter nights to come. I want to used that time wisely. I will be able to  glamorize, systemize and holiday-ize Ms Gracie, so we’re ready for a happy new year. So, I’m sorta happy it’s summer’s end & I won’t be sweating my guts out anymore in way too many showgirl layers. A happy showgirl hovers just above freezing and my A/C has been turned off.  But back to fall colours and chilly breezes . I’m excited to start a new season of wardrobe. But I am going to try carrying those sunshine lollipops and rainbows with me all year-long. Now, that’s what I call a beach blanket bingo!

PS- Tomorrow, I dance for money, but it’s not so private.

Class Acts: Vixen Recital

The Gracie Escape

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am going on holiday. I am heading up North to where the wi has no fi. A beautiful and solitary few days are in store for me and my Hubby’s fam. Of course as I hitch a ride out of the city, I am suffering from showgirl jaw, screamers cough and choking on glitter. A detox is in store and I am looking forward to the reboot. 
So, it is high on cough medicine and stocked with a sunny outlook, my dearest readers, that I regret to be the bearer of blog news, but I am taking the week off of writing. I guess that’s what happens when the internet doesn’t go on vacation with you. The satellite was too big to fit in my suitcase. See you next Monday:)